


Go On Forever

by potentiality_26



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Temporary Character Death, Year That Never Was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2544206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Jack had tried, in the beginning, to talk about his team objectively, putting no more emphasis on Ianto than any of the others- but something had eventually slipped through.  Before he knew it, he’d told Tish about all the good times, and when those were exhausted he’d told her about the bad ones.  He’d told her about the things both of them had done wrong, and about the things he bitterly regretted not doing.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tish said, “When this is over, ask him out on a date.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Jack didn’t say, “This won’t ever be over.”  That was one of the things they never said.</em>
</p>
<p>Jack's thoughts on surviving the end of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go On Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [my hc_bingo](http://potentiality-26.livejournal.com/50135.html) square _apocalypse_. It's been a while since I saw the Year That Never Was episodes, so I apologize in advance for any inconsistencies. The title comes from "Catastrophe" by Rainer Maria.

When Ianto was brought aboard the Valiant, Jack honestly thought it was about him. It wasn’t an unreasonable thing for him to think; the Master did forget about him- sometimes for weeks on end- but he always remembered again. There was little the Master could do in his quest to determine if there was anything that could keep Jack dead that Jack hadn’t already done himself at one point or another, and as bad as most of it was, there were worse things than physical pain. Surely it would add something to the master’s ‘experiment’ to learn what it did to Jack when the pain was emotional.

And as for Ianto, Jack had talked about him to Tish and to her parents. He had done so quietly, when there was little danger of being overheard by the wrong people- but there were no real secrets on the Valiant. Jack had tried, in the beginning, to talk about his team objectively, putting no more emphasis on Ianto than any of the others- but something had eventually slipped through. Before he knew it, he’d told Tish about all the good times, and when those were exhausted he’d told her about the bad ones. He’d told her about the things both of them had done wrong, and about the things he bitterly regretted not doing.

Tish said, “When this is over, ask him out on a date.”

Jack didn’t say, “This won’t ever be over.” That was one of the things they never said.  

Anyway, why wouldn’t Jack think it was about him- given everything? He was, he knew, an arrogant man, and the world wasn’t that small- was it?

But eventually, he figured out that it wasn’t about him. Just as there was, ultimately, no keeping secrets from the Master on the Valiant, there was- at the end of the day- no way for the Master to keep anything from his prisoners for too long either. Thus, news of what he actually had planned traveled fairly quickly.

He was going to broadcast Ianto’s execution- for, it seemed, Martha’s benefit. She was the one this was all for.

When he figured that out, Jack thought about escaping. It wouldn’t last, of course, or mean too much in the general scheme of things, but he would at least have the chance to say something to Ianto- to let him know that he wasn’t alone.

In the end, Jack was glad he never tried.

In the end, Ianto nodded once to the Doctor up in his cage like he bore no ill will towards him after Canary Wharf- though Jack had always felt sure he did- and then gazed into the camera and gave a little bow of his head, still looking straight on like he was telling Martha- wherever she was- something with his eyes. Jack couldn’t begin to guess what it was, but he knew the faith in his eyes- the kind that certain patriots tended to reserve for love of country, and the devout for God- and he knew that men who had that faith never truly felt alone.

After everything went back to normal- for a given value of the term- Jack asked Martha what had happened between them, exactly. She told him that Ianto and ‘that woman’ had helped her on her mission for a time. ‘That woman’ was Gwen Cooper, as it turned out.

“She was brave,” Martha said, so sadly. “She was brave and so very angry. At you, for leaving. To her, it was just after you left that everything started to go wrong. And her boyfriend died and most of her coworkers. She didn’t want to hear about you, or the man who took you- the Doctor, I mean. When I asked why Ianto he wasn’t angry, he shrugged. He said that anger comes of having expectations. He told me fear comes of having expectations too. It was only after I realized how right he was that I understood how much the last thing he said to me meant. He said he expected me to win this and make everything okay again.”

Jack was glad they had undone everything the Master did, glad they really had made everything okay, but in a way he was bizarrely sorry, as well. He was sorry that Gwen had been so brave, and that Ianto had made peace at very end, and neither of them would ever know it. He was sorry that so many people had found such strength and would never know it. He was sorry Martha had saved the world, and only handful of people remembered it.

Since someone had to know, someone had to remember, Jack asked her to tell him everything.

When he got back- to be taken back in by his team with varying degrees of reluctance- Jack’s resolution to date Ianto for a good while before going to bed with him again didn’t last too long. It lasted twenty-four hours, to be exact. He had nightmares- he had always had nightmares- but these were worse. A lot of bad things had happened to Jack Harkness in his long life, and that year had rarely, in fact, contained anything worse- except for the fact that it all happened over the course of a single year.

Ianto would never have pestered him to explain, which was probably why Jack decided to, in the end. He didn’t tell him everything; he just rested his head on Ianto’s chest and told him everything he thought mattered. He never mentioned knowing that Martha Jones had once done the same, and found similar comfort in it.

Later, when Martha joined Torchwood for a while, Ianto was more than a little stiff with her- even as he thanked her privately for saving the world. She’d accepted his thanks and informed him that he had once saved her.

She told Jack what Ianto’s faith had done for her when she felt like giving up. She told Jack not to let that go.

“Are you… jealous?” he asked Ianto of Martha.

“Not jealous, no. But if… something had happened during that year, or before, you’d tell me?”

“Nothing happened between us," Jack assured him.  “Anyway, if anyone should be jealous, it’s me. You were the one she was with at some point during that year, not me.”

“Oh,” was all Ianto said.

Jack truly laughed, free and honest, for the first time since he saw the end of the world.       


End file.
